Before I spend an hour reading all of your posts and comments - and then commenting myself, I want to focus on putting up a post of my own, without distractions. The best thing about today was that I kept so busy, I barely thought about eating (until the dreadful Easter Bunny movie, of course!). That being said, the downside to this diet is that you can't keep too busy because if you don't make time to go home during the day you can't really pick up much to eat while you're out. Unless, of course, you stop to buy an apple somewhere.
Like each of you, I am having my own new revelations each day. Ok, maybe several a day. Here is the biggest one for me so far: I don't always have to do things on my own. It's o.k. to want, or even need, the help of other people. I think I've spent so many years proving to myself that I can do it all alone, that I have actually convinced myself that I prefer it that way. And the truth is, that's not true at all. Little did I know that the events of this past year were preparing me for this 30 day adventure. I've made more friends, kept up with more friends, been more social, spent more time with others and less time alone than any other time in the past 6 years. To be honest, some days it drove me nuts. The old me kept telling the new me that I just needed some "alone" time. Don't get me wrong, everyone needs alone time to reflect and just catch a breath; however, I had conditioned myself to think that I prefer to be alone. Little did I know that bit by bit I was opening up and allowing myself to let go of some of my independence and to let others in.
Tonight, I was thinking about this whole diet - wondering why it was working and why I wasn't depressed by the fact that I have 25 days to go. That's when I began to realize everything I am sharing here. I have always shied away from working out with others, dieting with others, basically because I never wanted to admit that I needed help and accountability partners (and because I didn't want to admit out loud that I needed to get healthy in the first place, but we'll save that for another session). The truth is, I have been missing out. For the first time in a long time, I am glad I am in this with someone else - with you girls! Maybe I could have done it without you, but not as well as I am doing it with you. Piece by piece, I am loving the new me.
Rebekah - thanks for reminding me that diet buddies are so important! There is no way I would've made it at the movie if you 2 hadn't been there. Thanks for the wisdom!
ReplyDeleteYou have given me the little goosebumps reading this. I think I speak for Tina and I when I say that we have found (in many many instances over the last few years) that life is so much better when shared. I don't mean casually shared, I mean completely open and (sometimes, too) honestly shared.
ReplyDeleteI have revealed many things to the two of you over the last year. Things that I have never had courage or need to say before. I believe that some people are put in our lives who will encourage and inspire us...I have found that in all of you.
Jaime has known me, as one of my longest standing friends.. she knows the real me inside and out. So, I am also encouraged by this fact: there is something beautiful in me, and all of us, that would allow us to cultivate such beautiful relationships.
Thank you for this post, Rebekah. The wisdom Tina referred to is hard earned. Wisdom is the reward to a tough journey we all go through. Life was not meant to be lived alone.
I know I could not continue this without you guys! Whenever my mind wonders to the choc. chip cookie dough that is sitting in my fridge (yes, i am torturing myself) I think about how hard you guys are working and that I am part of a team and will not let my team or myself down!
ReplyDeleteSOOOO glad I am not alone in this!! Awww group hug!
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