I Stand Before Almighty God Alone - WorshipMob feat. Jennie Riddle & Bra...

Flashback from a childhood musical...

When I was about 6 years old I had a part in my church play, Family Tree.  I played a little girl who kept fighting with her older brother and sang a song all by myself (I wish Mindy were reading this - then she'd know I could sing, too).  The song was called "Nobody's listening to me."  I'm starting to get a complex.  This blog is making me feel like that 6 year old little girl again.  Where are you people?!?!  Jaime, now I know what you were talking about when you thought you might be talking to yourself on here.  Don't worry.  After this experience I will NOT let you blog to yourself. 

Come on, peeps...I'm beginning to understand even more clearly how important it is to have support while you're dieting.  Two days ago I ate 4, yes 4, pieces of chocolate with peanut butter in it.  Never fear - I'm back on track, but I think it may have stalled my weightloss.  I drank 100 ounces of water yesterday to try to flush it out, but I didn't even lose an ounce in the last two days.  Here's hoping I lose something tomorrow.

See you ladies in the morning!

Yippee for Jaime!!

Hey, Jaime!  Tara said you can go back on the diet whenever you want!!  That's great news.  Do you have to re-load?!  I say "have to", but right about now - or better yet, last night - I would have loved to.  Welcome back to the battle, girl!  We're glad to have you with us and we're here for whatever you need.

P.S.  TARA?!?!?!  Where are you?! 

Abyssal Plains

Ok, so I'm not sure that a "plateau" actually describes what I went through for about 4 days last week.  I mean the Tibetan Plateau in Asia is home to some of the world's highest mountains and deepest valleys.  I definetly did not experience any moutain top highs!!  I would sum up those four days as more of an abyssal plain (for those of you who don't remember back to high school science class, these are the flattest places on earth found on the ocean floor) - no life, no sunshine, no highs, just lows.

In hindsight, I was so cranky about it I didn't even want to talk about it.  And yet everytime I looked at the Cheetos in the cupboard or the Malbec in the wine fridge a little voice in my head told me I was NOT going through this hell only to cheat.  After all, that's how I got fat in the first place:  one tiny justification after another.  At this point I have probably broken the record for Google searches on HCG by an individual.  Everything that I read said that these "plateaus" - heretofore more accurately referred to as abyssal plains - were normal.  Most hcg dieters still see inches lost during their abyssal plain period.  And if they hold tight, stay true to the diet and make it through, they will see a big loss afterwards.

Ladies, they were right.  After a very slow week last week (especially compared to week one) in which I lost a whopping 4 pounds, I have now lost 4 more pounds since Monday.  A few hcg tips to remember:

• Mix your proteins up.  Don't eat the same two proteins in one day.
• Keep your proteins to 100 grams
• Don't mix your vegetables.
• Eat two different fruits each day.  NEVER eat two apples in a day.
• Drink tons and tons and tons of water. (Note: "tons and tons and tons" = half your weight in ounces)
• If you stall for 4 days - as in don't lose an ounce - have an "apple day" (no food except for 6 apples throughout the day and "tons and tons and tons" of water)

So if, and when the abyssal plains hit you, hang in there!  Be strong and courageous!  Don't give up!  Keep your eyes on the prize!  Go for the gold!....You get the point.

I"m back!

Hi hotties - I missed you guys this week! I would have much rather talked about my fat ass than what I had to deal with this week. I will fill you all in some other time as I don't want to blog about it.

Anyway - I had to take a hiatus from the protocol for a few days but luckily the scale stayed the same. I was so worried but I know made some better decisions than I normally would have and still didn't have any soda. That is HUGE for me. I am back on track and ready to roll again.

Wish me luck! :)

Tomorrow..

Can't wait to see you girls tomorrow.. Tina can't join us, but I would ask that you pray for her, John and family.
She will share more if she wants, but I just wanted to put it out there so you can keep her in your thoughts.
And we thought losing weight was hard. Reality check, please.

A Lifeline...

Ok, ladies.  You all know me by now.  I am not cheating on this diet - I refuse to.  No matter how crabby and irrational I become.  So here is the good news...I found a chocolate recipe for HCG phase 2 and it actually helps boost weight loss (when eaten in moderation)!!!!!

It's called "Chocolate Delight".  You can google it and you'll find a thousand different sites all confirming that it is legit.

It's basically unsweetened cocoa, stevia (plain or flavored), coconut oil, cinnamon (optional), and macadamia nuts (optional), with some water.   You pour the mixture into ice cube trails and chill.  Then, voila...you have chocolate squares.  From what I've seen you can eat about 3-5 per night.

So, Tara, it's not a Twix bar, but it might help!  I'm giving it a try tomorrow.
(And I've posted a few links about it to the right)

The Weight of Water

"Tara" (allen asks)? "Yeah...?!?!!"  "Do you want some more water?"
"Does it look like I want any more water?"   "What are you talking about? I just thought I would get you some more if you wanted it..."

Now.. looking back at this conversation, it seems that I got a little bitchy. SO WHAT. Seriously... I don't know how much more water I can force myself to drink. But, herein lies the problem. If I didn't drink so much water, I would be really really hungry. Every time I want popcorn, or other various snacks.. I grab a glass. I have added tea, coffee, stevia, sweet n low, green tea, lemon juice, smashed up strawberries, ice cubes and cucumbers. I am afraid what my next step will be.

I am constantly scheming ways to make water taste better... I think what it needs is a big cookie, twix bar, popcorn, m&m's, pasta and vodka. A little tiny bit of water and a lot of all these things should do the trick.

My bladder is working overtime, I am waiting to see what my next water bill is going to be from all the toilet flushing going on, and let us not forget to mention: If I sit on a wet toilet seat ONE MORE TIME I AM GOING TO HURT (him) SOMEONE.

I just stopped typing the last paragraph to fill my water glass because re-reading the word TWIX above made me hungry.

So, with all that being said, I am going let Allen get me all the water he is willing to and I will slam my glasses of water because one thing is for sure, all this water is in some miraculous way making me skinnier.. And, so is my conviction to follow this through. This is just one more adjustment I am making in my life. It is all water under the bridge and I cannot wait to finally cross it.

Popcorn. Seriously??!!

My lovely family decided to make 2 HUGE bowls of popcorn while watching American Idol last night and then proceeded to eat it right next to me on the couch. Seriously kids, this is taking your life into your own hands. I was on the edge b/c I was so PMS-y and not to mention I was sooooooo f***ing hungry!!!! OMG!!! Are you new to this house and not aware of how psycho Mom is right before "that time"? I literally got up and went in the bathroom and sprayed air freshener until I couldn't smell the popcorn any more. Thanks for the support jackasses!
To add to my torture, the girls want to go to see "soul surfer" tomorrow so I can be smacked in the face with the sweet aroma of buttery popcorn AGAIN! I may pack some febreze in my pocket. Please pray for me that I don't end up on the news b/c I lost my mind and dove into the giant popcorn maker at the theater......

good news/bad news

Here's the good news - we are 1/2 way done!!
Here's the bad news - we are only 1/2 way done...

The lesson for me today is to find the glass half full. Instead of thinking about the bad, like what I can't eat or do (drink wine, go out to eat)I am choosing to think about the good, like what I can do! (wear smaller clothes, be more active with the kiddies,) It is helping me tremendously to have a better attitude and not flip out on my family. I am so PMS-y and would die for chocolate right now. I feared I might end up on the news in some surveillance camera footage shoplifting chocolate Easter bunnies last night. I had a a pity party for myself and then a little chat and decided that all of this sacrifice we are making is worth it. I have made it this far, I am not giving up. And besides, we are 1/2 way done. See I am positive!! Plus I really need a pedicure!

I hope you are all finding your ways to stay motivated and on task. I know the main reason I made it this far is b/c of all of you!

At a Snail's Pace

This week has been really weird for me.  The days seem to fly by, but at night I get discouraged, think about all the food I want to eat and can't, and then watch the clock hoping I can go to bed soon so I don't have to think about it anymore.  I pretty much hate my day after 7pm.  Then on the flip side, I wake up in the morning, I am not hungry, and I stay busy.  The distractions of the day seem to help make this diet feel more like a positive change and not a restriction. 

All in all, the diet is slowing down to about a pound a day and I think it is slowing my excitement, too.  Not my determination, just my motivation.  I know, I know.  A pound a day is still good, but for some reason it doesn't feel like it.  I find myself looking at the calendar thinking, "Ok, you can do this.  Only 14 more days." 

Lucky for me, it is morning, the sun is shining and I am, once again, in a more positive mood.  Off to TJ Maxx - I just have to force myself to ignore the clothes section.  Can I tell you how excited I am to be done with this just so I can buy some new clothes?!?!

Fresh Air

My windows are open and my house is filling with fresh air. I have a pot of coffee brewing. I can hear the water dripping delicious drip by delicious drip. I have my iTunes blasting and it is just me here, sitting in the middle of a mess. The upstairs is clean, girls drawers have been cleared out, purged, washed and re-stocked with clothes for warmer weather. My bedroom is next. My closet it after that. But, I am saving that for another day. I am saving that for the moment I can look at the clothes hanging in there and say (to most of them) I don't need you anymore. I don't need the baggy tops that hide my "toubled" areas. I don't need the skirts from 2001 (when I met Allen) that are too short, even if I do fit in them again. But I am not ready to do that, just yet.

That's the trouble with the truth, isn't it? Truth hurts. It means you bear your soul, you open yourself up and let the sun shine in. You dust off the dirt that has been cluttering and stocking up on your sills, shelves and bones. The trouble with the truth is that once you face it , you have just created a sh*%load of work for yourself! Because now, as I am shedding these pounds and feelings, I want my house and everything else to match. So this mess I am surrounding myself in is everything that has made its way from upstairs.

I have been feeling lighter this week. (Besides moments of hormonal rage). I have been lifted up by my friends, breakthroughs in Allen and the fact that Spring is finally showing it's face is helping too.

I don't feel like I am dieting anymore. I feel like I am eating like I am supposed to and not worried about what I am making to eat. Each and everyday this process is getting smoother and more manageable. I fear Tina's revelations are true: This is the easiest part. It maybe all uphill from here, but there is definitely a better view from the top.

Recipes

Hi Girls - I am not sure how to post a website like Rebekah did but I wanted to share one that I found some great recipes on . HcG1234. My 2 faves are the Apple Cookies and the Lemon or Strawberry Ice Cubes. Hope it helps your sweet tooth! It did mine! Happy Humpday!

SUNSHINE!

I was a little desperate for some sunshine today so I bundled up with a warm sweatshirt and blankie and put on my fave slippers(thanks Tara) and sat on the deck for an hour! It felt so good soak it in that I actually dozed off for a bit. This is what I decided in my fuzzy, buzzy, dreamy state.....I KNOW this is going to get easier! I feel like God has sent Spring just for me this year! I am breaking out of my long hibernation and emerging into the sunshine. I can almost feel the warmer days ahead of us and I am imagining me playing with my kids and not hanging out on the sidelines. I am actually looking forward to a few events we have planned and not dreading the whole "oh god what should I wear?" scenario I seem to go through every time I have to dress up.
Every time I follow through on my water, meal plan, or vitamins, I feel like I am taking one step closer to that person I want to be. Thanks to all of you for awakening me and kicking my ass in the right direction! I didn't really know what I was getting into when Tara told me about this HcG but I am so happy I jumped in with both feet.

Funny stuff!

This has nothing to do with our diet, but my lovely daughter,Eden, just told me "the washcloth smells like penis!" A good laugh is the best medicine and burns calories. Your blogs bring much laughter and happiness to me! Love ya all!

To Infinity and Beyond!

Today was better than yesterday.  I actually feel like every day I am in a battle.  I am literally fighting this one day at a time.  It's like I told you, I am not enjoying this, but I am doing it.  We are all doing it!  Yay me....yay us!  Ok, so seriousness and encouragement aside, does the battle ever end?!  Because sometimes it feels like this might go on and on and on....forever.

Tara, I have got to give you mad props for the orange chicken asparagus dinner.  I had it again tonight.  Love it!  And tomorrow, for lunch, Phase 2 chili with bison meat.  Yummy, yummy.

We still need a new name...

Chili Recipe

FYI - The chili recipe on the HCG phase 2 guidelines that Rebekah posted is fabulous!!! I made it for lunch. It is so good I could make it for the family. It also took awhile to eat because it was hot so that was a bonus!

Bad Week For Me...

Hello Hotties, I cheated yesterday ...at the funeral. I was sad and hungry and went over my 500 cal. For the record, my stomach hurt the rest of the day and my body felt weird. So, it wasn't worth it! But, for once in my life, I was looking forward to the next day to start over. For once, I could hear my brain speaking louder than my stoamach and my brain was telling me the right things-That I can do this! I felt like a contestant on the Biggest Loser.. the one that is kicked off because everyone knows this person can succeed at home! This diet really is manageable. Now, I will be on this diet probably longer that the rest of you, but I look forward to seeing results!. Okay, so bad week though because I'm getting my wisdom teeth out on Friday and am not sure what they let you eat or not eat and I do not want dry sockets. These wisdom teeth have been an ongoing issue since I was pregnant with Eli, so I should've had them out a long time ago. So, I am thinking I might have to start over and that is okay, because I will do this!

Britney Spears

Who knew Ms. Spears would remind me to stick with this thing?! Alivia found this old CD that had the song "STRONGER" on it. I was in the kitchen obsessing about what to eat and she just happened to crank the volume on the the part that says "I'm stronger than yesterday! Now it's nothing but my way!" Corny? Of course!! But it has been ringing in my head every morning when I wake up. Another day done girls and guess what? I AM stronger than yesterday!! We can do this!!! Have a fabulous Tuesday! Remember to tell yourself how beautiful you are and how STRONG you are!

PS- I really need a pedicure!!!! :) Jaime did you know that is the reward for next week to whoever has highest % wt loss?! As Charlie Sheen says "WINNING!" hahaha

Just Like Starting Over

Tara, I have to admit reading your post just now was encouraging to me.  Today was a long, long day for me.  I'm glad I'm not the only one.  Instead of being motivated by our weight loss totals and morning meeting, I just felt like I was leaving the first 12 pounds behind and starting over again.  It's exhausting.  Driving by the Zesty's on Riverside, seeing the "Now Open" sign and forcing myself to drive past my favorite flavor (Cookies 'n Cream) didn't help any.  It feels like the day I can finally enjoy a bowl of ice cream again is so far away.

Then tonight I watched "Biggest Loser".  One of the girls has had two pretty unsuccessful weeks in a row.  She was ready to give up, when her husband told her that she needed to find a way to break through the wall she was up against.  Every other time she got as far as she has, she has given up.  Every other time I've gotten this far, I've given up.  I am only fooling myself if I think I will ever look any better (and, in turn, feel any better) if I can't find a way to push through this.  The best things in life are worth fighting for, right?  And if I am being honest with myself, I will never be truly happy with myself in the shape I am in now.

So tonight, I am not enjoying it, but I am pushing through....because I am not starting over again.